


Where We Left Off

by the_albatross



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Voyeurism if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2019-01-06
Packaged: 2019-09-15 04:46:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16926777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_albatross/pseuds/the_albatross
Summary: it's finally here y'all! AAA girls fic I mentioned forever ago! there's some notes at the beginning of the story regarding a few changes i'm making for 2019. nothing too big, just more of heads up.based on wishful thinking that there will be another round of a AAA Girls tour at some point cause i missed the last one due to...reasons...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> just want to get a few things out of the way real quick for some changes i'm making in 2019, partially cause i'll be starting a new job:  
> first, unless the work is already complete or at least 90% done, i won't be stating any time lines for when it'll be posted. although i do seem more productive when i set a deadline for myself, i tend to get frustrated when the piece doesn't come out quite the way i wanted it.  
> second; i'm gonna be spending more time reviewing my work before posting so this is gonna lead to longer delays between stories but hopefully better quality.  
> third, i'm gonna do better with not pairing Willam off in every damn story i put her in, cause seriously? it's every single time so far! i write her in and then i get the urge to pair her with someone...usually Alaska, but that's beside the point.  
> and just a final point attached to that last one; i'm gonna try my hand at working on some different pairings than what i've written so far and see how that goes. Currently there are a few ideas in the works; Phi Phi x Bianca (just fluff, i want to call them Phianca though cause it sounds really cute), Rajila (fic will be called 'Lock & Key'), Rajadore (might become a two-parter but for now it's planned as a one-shot like the two previously mentioned stories), and maybe a Biadore if i can work out the fucking plot hole i'm stuck on.

Well, it finally happened; round two of the AAA Girls with an all new tour to boot.

It was long overdue in Courtney's opinion. Everyone had just been so busy; new movies, new music, new shows. It had been difficult finding time where all three were free and able to work together but they finally managed it after some careful and purposeful rearranging of their schedules. And more than anything Courtney was glad to be reunited with her friends. She made it no secret that she missed them but just how much was something she'd never admit, no matter how much alcohol was in her system.

It wasn't always easy to get along with the other queens, sometimes she had fought with them, Willam in particular, but she wouldn't trade their friendship for anything. In a way she never really had with other queens; she simply clicked with Willam and Alaska on a whole different level. They understood each other, too much at times, but it only served to deepen their relationship. When she had moved to the UK, they were the two she missed the most. Of course she loved her other coworkers as well but Willam and Alaska were special...simply using digital media to communicate wasn't enough for her. She wanted to _see_ them. Hear their voices in person, not translated through video or phone calls...As much as she loved the UK, she was homesick for them and finally getting the chance to tour together once more?

Well, she'd do anything in her power to make that happen. And finally the stars aligned and the dates were set.

It was almost like nothing had changed that first day they were together. It felt like they had all just seen each other yesterday with how quickly they had picked up where they left off. Her interactions with them always felt so natural; she was simply just overjoyed at seeing them together once more that it took her awhile to realize something was in fact different.

She couldn't quite put her finger on it at first...she was happy and she didn't want anything to change that so she simply tried to ignore it. But something was definitely... _off_.

The other girls got along just fine, they always had after all, so what could it be?

Maybe she was just overthinking things? Perhaps it was just anxiety for the upcoming shows...no matter how many times she performed, whether it was in front of huge crowds or smaller, more intimate shows; a twinge of worry always settled in her stomach until the moment she stepped foot on stage. It was useful though, it meant she would never get overconfident with herself.

But somehow that feeling wasn't quite the same as the one currently twisting her stomach in knots...No, there must be something else...

Every so often her mind would drift back into wondering what had changed about her but she never found a satisfying answer...so she left it alone and focused as much of her attention as she could on her friends. It seems in the time she had been out of the country, the pair had become even closer. Courtney and Willam had known each other quite well before Alaska was thrown into the mix. Of course they had welcomed her with open arms but Courtney never felt like Alaska had connected with either queen in the same manner that Willam and Courtney had...at least not until she saw them again on this tour...

Courtney had always been the one that Willam would allow to hang off of him. He had always complained loudly and expressively as she wrapped her body around his but he never told her to stop or made any motion to move away. With other people he'd subtly drift from their hold or flat out tell them not to touch him, but there was always the 'Courtney exception'. His body would relax against hers and that was one of the aspects of their relationship that Courtney took the most pride in...She loved that Willam had such a soft spot for her despite his exaggerated objections...it made her feel special, like she had own bragging rights if she were one to boast.

Yet now that exception seemed to have extended to Alaska and Courtney wasn't entirely sure how she felt about it. There was a little churn in her stomach when she saw them doubled over in laughter clutching at one another or sitting so close together that their legs or arms were touching. She almost felt... _threatened_ by it.

It was ridiculous, she knew that but all the same...it still hurt.

Aside from the physical contact, their interactions also seemed more... _intimate_. Like they were having their own private conversations despite their chatter with everyone else around them, Courtney included. She found herself wondering when all this had happened...It seemed like just yesterday they were all practically strangers with one another and just beginning to learn the boundaries and create memories together.

The moment this development really seemed to hit home was about a week after the start of the tour when Willam discovered that a few of the wigs he had bought specifically for these shows had been forgotten at home. He searched through every one of his bags multiple times but the hair pieces were always missing from the collection.

"And they were right by the door too! I worked so hard getting them ready!" he lamented with a whine as he threw aside the last bag in a fit of self-pity. "I'm such an idiot."

Courtney was about to argue with him on that point, as she always had, but with barely a moment's pause, Alaska was at Willam's side running her hand across his back as she reassured him in a gentle voice, "I don't think you're an idiot..."

Willam faltered for a second, looking stunned as Alaska smiled down brightly at him. She meant every word too, Courtney could tell from her tone and the way her eyes shone with sincerity. Breaking the gaze, Willam gave a shy smile and mumbled, "Um, thanks..."

That brief interaction, barely more than 30 seconds produced such a twisting in her stomach she could barely stand to stay in the same room. It felt like bile was rising in her throat as her heart and head pounded away but she couldn't take her eyes off of them. Willam didn't even turn around towards her like he'd always done in the past. Alaska's reassurance was enough for him.

That was when the realization had finally hit her...this is what was so different on this tour...it was no longer Willam and Courtney...Now it was Willam and Alaska...

She'd been replaced...

*************

Courtney did her best to keep her jealousy in check, even trying to rationalize to herself that she wasn't replaced; the two had just become better friends as they spent more time working together. Still, she felt herself succumbing to her own self-induced misery and it seemed like nothing could shake it. Her only consolation was that she was able to keep her emotions well hidden, at least that was what she had hoped.

It was a struggle sometimes when she saw them together to not tear one of them away and begin screaming. It was childish. People, Willam in this case, were allowed to have close friends apart from her. Yet no matter how many times she repeated this to herself, a small spark of hatred emerged whenever she saw them hanging off each other like she wasn't even in the room. She never had this problem with Willam's other friends, such as Anthony or Rhea, but Alaska?

The whole situation just left her feeling alone no matter how many people surrounded her.

She never suspected there was anything more to their relationship until one night she chanced to pass by Willam's hotel room on her way back from the vending machine. She was having a late night snack courtesy of room service but forgot to order a drink with the light meal. Wandering around the halls, she finally found the elusive vending machine and started on her way back when a very distinct sound caught her attention from one of the rooms she walked by.

Even without looking at the number above the door, she could tell it was Willam's; the queen had quite a discernible voice after all and Courtney was no stranger to hearing him in the midst of a hookup. It struck her as a bit odd that he hadn't mentioned any such plans earlier; usually he'd be bragging about who he was taking to the mattress that night but perhaps this was a spur of the moment decision. That sort of thing tended to happen on tours, especially if they weren't entirely sure what city they'd be in the next day or for how long.

Willam certainly sounded like he was enjoying himself. Not quite at his usual volume but still loud enough to echo into the hallway. Courtney was rolling her eyes and ready to continue back to her room when she heard a breathy moan of 'Justin' filtering through the walls.

It felt like her blood ran cold and a weight dropped to the pit of her stomach. Her cheeks were burning as she tried to force herself to walk away, to stop listening before she did something stupid like banging on the door to catch them in the act. She had no proof that Willam was with Alaska; 'Justin' was such a common name after all...but deep down she had a sneaking suspicion she was knew exactly who he meant.

Her throat constricted as she listened for another few seconds before her body finally caught up with her brain and she rushed back to her own room. The food no longer seemed appetizing but Courtney forced herself to at least pick at a few pieces. Anything to distract her from thinking about what she heard.

She just couldn't believe it! Willam might occasionally sleep with his friends but not Alaska! She'd never do that with someone she works with...right? Sharon was the exception of course but they had been in a relationship! There's simply no way it could have been Alaska in there with Willam. It was just a random guy who happened to share the same name. That was it!

The next day Courtney kept her suspicions to herself, she had no concrete evidence after all, so what good would it do to throw accusations around? Besides, it wasn't as if it was any of her business who either queen slept with...and she was certain it was not with each other...Well, that was what she told herself.

As the day passed and shows continued on, that belief began to waver. There were little things, almost unnoticeable until she really began to look for them. The lingering eyes, a knowing curl of the lips, fingers brushing against bare skin unnecessarily...

No.

She's just reading too much into this, she told herself. It was just....jealousy.

Yet there was one more instance in a hotel that made it almost undeniable and Courtney was forced to face the truth. By some miracle the hotel had three rooms next to one another and by pure chance, Courtney's ended up in the middle. She really didn't think much of it at the time they checked in; she wouldn't allow herself to but that afternoon, still several hours before they had to begin getting ready for the gig, she happened to overhear some very familiar noises from one of the rooms next her.

It was Willam's room of course, that was typical. Of all three he was probably the loudest in bed and once Courtney's attention was on the muffled noises floating through the walls; she was unable to concentrate on anything else. She tried to turn on the TV, tried listening to music, even just watching videos on her laptop but somehow her ears always picked up on Willam's voice. She couldn't quite make out who the other person was, she didn't really expect to be able to, but her imagination ran wild with who she thought was probably in there with him...making him all but scream in pleasure as he tried desperately to keep the volume down.

Soon she just couldn't take it any more and wandered onto the balcony with a book in hand. It laid open in front of her but she never read more than a few words. Her mind kept replaying those sounds and creating mental pictures of what Willam might look like right now. She was careful not to imagine Alaska with him but her attempts weren't always so successful. At least she couldn't actually hear them out here.

She had no clue how long she sat outside just staring off into the distance but the opening of another sliding glass door drew her out of her dazed state. Turning her head to the source, she found Willam stepping onto his own balcony with a content smile on his face. His eyes lazily drifted over to where she was sitting and instantly that look morphed into one of guilt and fear.

In under five seconds, his hand darted back inside his room, presumably to keep another body from stepping onto the balcony as well. Almost nervously, but certainly with a slight crack in his voice, he called out a bit too loudly, "Hey, Court!"

Suspiciously, she returned the greeting, picking up on the distinct sound of shuffling from just beyond the frame of the glass door.

"What are you up to over there?" she asked blankly.

Shrugging, he gave a vague reply of, "The usual."

Politely nodding her head, she stated, "I was thinking of ordering room service in a bit. Interested?"

"I could eat."

Standing up from her chair, Courtney announced, "I'll go next door and ask Alaska-"

"Why don't you just text her?" Willam interrupted hastily. Having known him for several years, Courtney could easily pick up on the trace of anxiety that played across his face.

"She's just down the hall," Courtney replied mildly as her eyebrow arched, full well suspecting why he was acting so nervous.

Thinking quickly, he offered a pathetic, "She could be sleeping..."

Pretending to consider that a valid excuse, Courtney agreed, "Might be right...I'll go grab my phone."

Before Willam could say another word, she disappeared into her room and practically dashed to the door leading into the hallway. Gazing through the peephole, she spotted a figure rushing past her door and out of sight. True, she couldn't tell 100% who it was before they disappeared but it was hard to consider the lanky figure as anyone other than Alaska.

As she returned outside with her phone in hand, she was less than surprised to receive a response only a few seconds after sending her own redundant text. The three met up in Courtney's room to discuss the menu yet the entire time, the blonde found herself incredulous that the other two genuinely could act as though they hadn't just been fucking less than an hour prior.

The more she thought about it, the more it pissed her off...it wasn't just that they hadn't told her anything about what they've been up to. A lot of it was simply Willam. Yes, he hadn't exactly lied to her but dancing around the truth was almost as bad. They'd always been so honest with each other but now that he was involved with Alaska, he was changing. Skirting the truth, trying to mislead her...Why wouldn't he trust her enough to tell her about this? That he was fooling around with Alaska for who knows how long now? There was no way this started just on this tour.

She was just so angry with them for everything they were keeping from her that she just wanted to scream at them. But she wouldn't...she _couldn't_. As much as she hated them right now, she just couldn't make a scene like that no matter how much she wanted to. All that she could to do was paint on a cheerful smile and act like nothing was wrong.

***************  
The shows continued on quite successfully until only a few more remained on their schedule. Tonight's venue was large enough to have separate dressing rooms for the queens, much to Courtney's gratitude. It was hard being around them sometimes, even on the bus she found herself hiding in her bunk more than usual although the pair never acted any different around her. Just seeing them together even in the most innocent of situations created a vice grip around her heart and often she'd have to look away to keep control of herself.

She was almost fully painted for the show and she imagined the others were almost ready too. There was chatter coming from the room next to hers indicating that at least one of them was finished...or maybe just abandoned their attempts for the time being. She didn't really pay much attention as she focused on her own makeup but every so often she pick up on distinct words or phrases drifting through the thin walls. None of it really held her interest until she heard a very familiar whining tone, "Will...shouldn't..."

Her heart quickened as her mind began to run wild with what they could possibly be doing just a few feet away. She could easily picture the smirk Willam must have been wearing as he challenged, "Do you want me to stop?"

No response from the younger queen.

"That's what I thought," he taunted in a confident manner as he sunk to his knees in front of her.

Alaska's hand would grip the counter behind her for support but she wouldn't make any action to move away. Still trying to keep some of her dignity, what little there was left of it, she argued, "Someone's gonna hear..."

"Then be quiet," he murmured as he pulled aside her underwear and tights. "You're the one making all the noise..."

Her breath would hitch as his fingers finally touched her bare skin to rub soothing patterns into her thighs. He'd glance up to her just as his tongue flicked out for an experimental lick to her head. She'd try her best contain a small whine but his lips stretching around her forced out a surprised, "Fuck, Willam!"

It was louder than she would like but she almost didn't care. It just felt so good and the knowledge that this was still such a public space where someone could hear or walk in on them was driving her crazy. Courtney found herself pressing her ear to the wall, unsure why she was torturing herself like this but unable to stop. Trying to tell her body to walk away was about as pointless as trying to convince her mind not to create all the mental pictures of what the two looked like at this moment.

"Oh, sorry!" Alaska gasped out apologetically, "Sorry."

Probably grabbed onto Willam's wig without thinking about it. In spite of the dirty look he'd give her for tugging on the hair piece, he'd direct her hand to the back of his neck and continue to work his mouth around her. Every so often he'd pull away, place deceivingly soft kisses across her skin until she was whimpering for more. Her mouth would hang open as she panted loudly. Occasionally she might bring her free hand up to help cover the noise but quickly it would drop back down as she breathed out, "Oh, god," or some other expletive.

Courtney's throat was constricting as her face heated up with the mental image playing out in front her. She almost missed the soft pleading, "Please...please don't..."

Probably for time's sake, Willam would pull out all of his tricks, all of the ones he knew would drive Alaska wild in the shortest amount of time. It seemed to be working as the next piece Courtney heard was a much louder, more desperate, "Not...not so fast! I don't wanna-"

When she came she must have covered her mouth once more because all Courtney could make out was a very muffled choked off whine that might have been her partner's name. As soon as she'd finish, she'd drag Willam to his feet and crash her mouth over his. It'd be rough and graceless but so passionate, just the way he'd like it. Having just a little more control of herself, she complained, "That was too quick..."

Smirk in place once more, he placed his hands on her waist and teased lightly, "Don't blame me that you can't hold out for longer."

Wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him close, she whined softly, "It's not fair when you do that...you know what it does."

Their lips would meet again for a fiery but short peck. Alaska was still breathless as Courtney strained to hear her grumble, "God, I don't want to wait until the hotel."

Probably rolling his eye with a pleased smile, Willam teased, "Jesus, you're hot mess right now."

"You fucking started it..." she shot back at him with another halfhearted whine.

Moving a hand up to cup her cheek, he'd run the pad of his thumb over the skin and consoled the younger queen, "Shh, just a few more hours..."

That night Courtney marched through the halls in search of the other queens' rooms. She had no doubt they'd waste little time after they retired for the evening before finding their way to one another. Willam's room proved to be quiet so she moved on to Alaska's. She wasn't sure what she was going to do once she found them but the notion of forethought seemed a foreign concept to her. Maybe she would just torture herself a little further today or maybe she'd finally confront them.

Coming upon Alaska's designated room for the night, she expected to hear them long before the number above the door came into view; especially considering what was overheard during her eavesdropping earlier. To her shock, what she found instead was faint music filtering into the hall, barely loud enough to catch anyone's attention. With her ear pressed to the faux wood she could finally discern hushed voices mixed in with the dulcet contemporary tones.

They were soft, unhurried like they had all the time in the world together. There were compliments slipped between pauses where their lips were probably connected. The bed was shaking at steady, rhythmic pace but it was a relaxed speed. This wasn't like the frantic, spur of the moment session she heard only a few hours prior. This was...romantic.

Her eyes were stinging as her hand clutched into a shaking fist while she fought against pounding on the door. Forcing herself to turn away, she rushed back to her room and buried herself beneath the covers. For hours she laid in bed trying to will herself to fall asleep or for the sounds to stop replaying in her mind.

It was hopeless.

No matter what she tried, she couldn't ignore the ache in her chest nor the constricting in her throat as she refused to let a single tear fall.

The following day as the queens prepared themselves for the show, she hardly bat an eye at how casual the pair were still acting. How could they do that so effortlessly, she wondered.

All of them were in various states of getting ready; Alaska was fully painted, hair in place yet still only in padding and her usual bra and panty ensemble. Courtney was still applying her makeup, wig-free with just a robe wrapped around her for the time being. And finally Willam was walking around fully dressed and beat, minus the hair. He always was the one to finish first, if you discounted the missing wig.

Currently Alaska was playing around with her phone, clearly preoccupied by something else because she failed to notice all of the fake nails Willam had been flicking into her hair. About every third one managed to catch itself in the messy bun until Courtney could count no less than five actually stuck in her wig and at least 13 additional nails scattered on the floor surrounding her. It was kind of cute, she had to admit; she loved seeing Willam smile just a little bit more with each little piece of plastic that clung to the younger queen's famous up-do. He was finally caught when the last nail fell short of its mark and dropped onto Alaska's shoulder.

Her eyes fell to the floor as the nail joined its fallen brethren and immediately a hand shot up to check her hair. The moment her fingers connected with one of the bejeweled accessories, she rolled her eyes and laughed out, "You're a fucking asshole!"

Willam could hardly contain his grin and sauntered over to her proudly, only to have the smile wiped clean off his face as she ruffled his loose curls as much as she could before he pulled away.

"My hair!" he whined as he combed his fingers through his now tangled locks.

"It's an improvement," she assured him with that trademark drawl of her voice.

The two gazed at each other with matching grins, seemingly forgetting that Courtney was still in the room. Before they broke away, she drank in those blissful smiles and the fondness displayed in both of their eyes. In those few seconds before they turned to clean up the mess, a disturbing epiphany struck Courtney...

They weren't just fooling around together...There was something _more_ there...Something real and intense...Something beyond just sex...

It was all Courtney could do not to bolt away from the room as she realized just how alone she was...even if she were stranded on the moon at that exact moment, nothing could compare to how cold and lonely she felt as she watched those two slip into their own little world leaving her to drift along the boundaries of something she desperately wished she could be a part of.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to get this updated. I'll be honest; this was not what I had planned originally for the ending. When I first started writing the second half I had a bit of a different plot in mind than this but as I got about half way through writing I found that I wasn't able to finish it. I couldn't leave the ending like that and be happy with it later. So I pushed this project aside, worked on some others and eventually I came up with this after recycling some of the original parts. I'm not entirely thrilled with it, not like I'd been for other pieces, but I am content to leave the story like this. I hope you guys don't mind it either.

In just a few days the tour was concluded and the queens returned to LA to celebrate another successful run. Though Courtney knew she should be happier, and often she tried to tell herself that she was, it was hard not to dwell on the Willam and Alaska situation. As desperate as she was to avoid it, she just couldn't stop thinking about them together. It was undeniable that there was something so much deeper to their relationship than Courtney could ever hope to have but the fact that neither has addressed it...that hurt...it pissed her off even...she wanted to yell or cry or make some sort of scene but she never could. That wasn't who she was. All she can do is suffer in silence as the knowledge of those two together ate away at her until the loneliness became almost unbearable.

And it certainly wasn't going to get better in the next couple of weeks, not with her staying with Willam as she took a short vacation from her own busy schedule to reconnect with her LA friends. It had also been mentioned that Alaska would be staying over as well but how that would work, Courtney had to wonder. To her knowledge Willam only had the one spare guest room; the one she'd be using...were they finally going to tell her about their relationship?

She mulled over the possibilities but by the time they landed back at LAX, it was late and all she wanted was to grab a bite to eat and maybe sleep for the next day or two. Her mind felt barely functional as they made it back to Willam's house and shuffled through the entry way. Courtney didn't miss the distasteful glance he made towards the forgotten wigs left sitting by the door as he passed by. A small smile tugged at the corner of her lips until she began to travel through the house in search of the guest room. His decor had changed...it was no longer his taste alone in the decorations and furniture...there was also a distinct flair of 'Alaska' in some of the new additions to the household.

'Practically living together,' Courtney seethed as she stepped into her living quarters for the next few weeks.

While she began to unpack, another flash of anger swept through her as she noticed yet another difference from her last visit...this room as well had undergone quite a change...in a number of the previously empty drawers and closet, Courtney found clothing and other belongings occupying most of the space...Items she knew for a fact were definitely Alaska's.

'Might actually be living together,' she thought bitterly. Despite her growing frustration, she refused to comment on it. Forget unpacking the rest of her shit. She just wanted to grab a snack and crawl into bed. Maybe in the morning she would feel a bit more sensible about everything. Hunger and sleeplessness were never good for decision making.

Finding her way to the kitchen, she stopped just outside the entry way as she took notice of Alaska and Willam loitering by the sink. Willam seemed to be washing a few dishes as Alaska hung close by almost but not quite touching him as he worked. Courtney was considering if she should come back in a few minutes after they had left but their brief conversation caught her attention.

"-just glad to be home," Alaska murmured fondly as she brushed her lips across Willam's exposed neck.

A pleased smile tugged at his lips as he replied quietly, "Same...missed our bed...being able to sleep in the same room without any questions."

"Missed being able to touch you whenever I wanted," Alaska whined in response as she wrapped her arms around his waist.

"Didn't seem to stop you on tour," Willam teased as he gave up any pretext of finishing his task in order to rotate in her grip.

"Trust me," the younger queen assured him in a low voice as she pulled their bodies closer, "That was tame...So much more I wanted to do to you..."

Rolling his eyes, Willam gave a short scoff before reaching up to draw the brunette's face down to meet his. Despite the apparent longing behind their words, the kiss remained quite chaste and modest. There was passion sure, but Courtney got the sense the kiss was mostly just to make up for everything they couldn't express privately while on tour.

She felt a flood of hot tears beginning to well up in her eyes as anger and betrayal filled her chest once again. Swallowing back any noise that would dare try to escape from her lips, Courtney stormed off back to her room. She wasn't quiet or even subtle about it, especially not after practically slamming the door shut, so it was hardly a surprise when a mere 30 seconds later there was a frantic knock on her door.

"Courtney?" Willam called out in concern.

"What?" she spat back venomously as she settled on her bed pulling her knees up to her chest.

"Please...can we come in?" he pleaded softly through the faux wood.

She remained quiet for the longest time, torn between wanting to sulk in private and wanting to rightfully bitch them out with everything she's held back over the past few weeks. Very reluctantly, she muttered, "The door's not locked."

Taking that as an approval to enter the room, the younger queens shuffled inside looking rather ashamed of themselves. As they approached the bed to sit down, she pushed herself further away and glared at them with fresh tears pooling in her eyes.

"You saw us," Alaska stated in a surprisingly calm tone.

After a quick nod of confirmation from Courtney, she asked softly, "It wasn't the first time...was it?"

Fighting back the urge to say something more scathing, Courtney admitted in a tense voice, "Heard you on tour a few times..."

"Is there...Do you want to ask us anything?" Willam inquired, looking rather guilty as he scooted closer.

Huddling in on herself even further, she glared at them and demanded, " _Why?_ Why didn't you tell me earlier?"

The pair exchanged a look of deep regret with one another until Willam found the courage to confess, "We...haven't told anyone yet. Family, friends...no one. But we should have told you...I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry, too," Alaska added even though Courtney refused to look at her.

"How long?" she asked moodily as she cast her eyes to the bed.

"It started a few weeks after you moved," Alaska informed her cautiously. "We..."

As she trailed off, Courtney dared to look up in time to find Willam shooting a warning look to the younger queen. Quickly stopping herself from elaborating any further, she instead concluded with a simple, "It's been a few months."

'Great. More secrets,' Courtney thought sarcastically as she rolled her eyes at their behavior. The more she heard them talk, the more she was fuming on the inside. With none of her usual tact, she spat out her final question, "Why... _her?_ "

Willam was taken aback by the harshness of her tone, particularly as Courtney continued to glare seemingly right into his soul. Despite the hateful look on her face, Alaska was undeterred. Glancing over, Courtney could see the wheels turning in her head until she gave a muffled noise of realization. In utter disbelief she whispered, "Oh my god...Courtney. You're _jealous_."

Feeling her face flush, Courtney darted her eyes back to the mattress and kept her scornful expression in place with everything she could muster. As much as she tried to ignore it, blood was steadily pounding in her ears as she heard the accusation...and though she hated to admit it; she knew it was entirely true.

Daring to crawl directly in front of the older queen, Willam asked with a surprising amount of trepidation, "Court... _Are_ you jealous?"

She couldn't bring herself to look at him, at either of them. She clenched her eyes shut for a moment as she fought against the tears that had begun to reappear. It was only after his hand was placed on her forearm that she dared to draw her gaze up again. There was a tragic, pleading look in her eyes as he asked cautiously, "Is it me or...?"

Her lip was trembling as a hint of a tear fell from the corner of her eye. Her gaze shifted back and forth between the pair in an utter panic but even without her saying a word, she saw the hopeful look in Alaska's eyes slowly extinguish. She knew the answer.

Courtney withdrew her gaze from the youngest queen, turning back to Willam to whisper a broken apology, "I'm sorry."

"Court..." he murmured softly as he brought up a hand to wipe away the stray tear.

Her heart felt racked with guilt as she stared helplessly at the queen in front of her. To her surprise, he glanced back towards Alaska, now looking almost brokenhearted as she gave him a nod of approval. There was hardly a moment's pause before she felt his lips pressed against hers in a way she had only dreamt of before. Little conscious thought ran through her head as she lowered her legs to the mattress and pulled him in closer. The kiss was everything she ever wanted it to be; passionate yet gentle. Simple yet so expressive. Her heart seemed ready to beat right out of her chest by the time he pulled away with her lower lip caught between his teeth.

Breathlessly, she gasped out, "Bill..."

She didn't know what to make of this situation. If that was all that was going to happen, she might just lose it. There's no way he would be that cruel right? To kiss her like she meant the world to him and then just leave it at that?

But there was also Alaska...how could Courtney forget about the dejected queen sitting at the opposite end of the bed looking as though her world was torn right from under her? Where was she in all of this?

Courtney's mind was hazy as she tried to catch her breath. All she knew was that she wanted more, anything more from him. But when she tried to reconnect their lips again, he stopped just out of her reach.

Sounding almost as much of a mess as she was, he spoke with an unusual hesitance in his voice, "Court, I...Is there any chance, any way you could ever like Alaska the way you like me?"

To say the question caught her by surprise would be an understatement. Of all the things she would have expected him to say following that kiss, that one would have never crossed her mind. Unwillingly she felt her line of sight being drawn back to the miserable queen only a few feet away from her who looked just as startled by the inquiry as she was. Alaska's hand was running over her arm in a futile attempt to calm herself down while the other clutched at the fabric of her pants. Every fiber of her being seemed to exude a sense of hurt and discomfort as she reluctantly glanced back towards the pair beside her.

Very honestly, Courtney answered, "I...I've never thought about it..."

The look Willam gave her in response seemed to urge, 'Please think about it right now.'

Taking a minute or two to consider everything she had gone through with the young brunette, she replied timidly, "Maybe?"

Willam let out an audible sigh of relief and turned back to face his partner with an expression Courtney was unable to make out. Alaska on the other hand, she could easily read. Her cheeks were tinted with a light pink as her breath seemed to be caught in her throat. That hopeful look from earlier seemed to be returning, although much more cautious now. To Courtney's confusion, she was nodding her head again, seemingly encouraging Willam to do something. She quickly found out what as Willam rotated back to face her with a very determined look in his eyes. In an urgent voice, he asked, "Can we try? All three of us?"

Courtney felt like her head was spinning as she heard the question. She never would have guessed that he'd ask something like that, nor for Alaska to agree with him. Just what was going on with these two?

In a soft, nervous voice, she asked, "Would...Is there any way she could ever...think about me like that too?"

It felt like she was putting every bit of her heart on the line with one question but she wasn't going to be the only one risking everything. Not for something as big as this.

Alaska's expression morphed into one of pity and frustration before a forgiving smile worked its way across her lips. Moving close to the older queen's side, she admitted, "Court...I already do."

The Aussie was flabbergasted; the younger queen had hid her emotions so well, she would have never suspected anything. Vaguely she wondered just how long Alaska had felt like that, how both of them had felt that way...and how she could have possibly missed it on Willam's side. What Alaska said next helped to fill in a small amount of the blanks she still had regarding their relationship, "When you left...it was hard...for both of us...but that's how we- _you_ brought us together...we missed you and would talk about you and then somehow, it turned into _this_...but we never stopped, you know...liking you."

There was no response she could have had for that confession, her stomach felt clenched in an entirely new and confusing way as her cheeks burned right up to her ears. Though her eyes shifted from one queen to the next she knew she'd find no trace that Alaska was lying. It was almost too much to process right now.

Daring to ask one more time, Willam proposed, "Can we please try, just for a little while and see what happens?"

"I-Yes...Yes."

*************

It was late, nearly midnight when she had made that decision. She had been tired and hungry and maybe that affected her more than she realized. Whenever she lacked either food or sleep, her decision making couldn't always be considered sound. Yet when she awoke the next morning and the memories from last night flooded in, she felt like she had possibly made the best decision of her life...or perhaps the worst if everything fell though. Their date tonight would probably be the deciding factor for her.

Though Courtney had been in polyamorous relationships before, it had never been quite like this; involving people she had worked closely with. And all of her past partners; they were all someone she felt she was attracted to from the beginning...but her feelings towards Alaska were still a mystery to her, she wasn't going to lie. She liked the young queen well enough as a close friend but she genuinely had never considered her as anything but. Yes, there might have been a little flutter in her stomach when she saw her smiling at times but it was nothing compared to how she felt around Willam.

Then again, that relationship had been something different for her for quite some time now. She's suspected for awhile that she had some kind of attraction to him beyond a simple platonic friendship. After all, it was hard not to feel something after everything they'd been through with each other, but she always pushed aside those thoughts out of fear of ruining their relationship.

She wondered why he was so different. Why the thought of him with Alaska and not her produced such an overwhelming wave of jealousy like nothing she'd ever experienced before. Why that jealousy didn't seem to be directed only at Alaska. Perhaps there was something more in what she felt towards the youngest queen...

Even though she now knew that Alaska was attracted to her seemingly as much as she was to Willam, she had to admit that the confession didn't inspire any deeper feelings than what already existed. Mostly what she felt right now was just conflicted.

She wondered if she could she ever be attracted to Alaska. Would it even come close to how she feels about Willam? Could she trust that those feelings were genuine and not just the byproduct of the promise of a relationship with Willam as well?

Above all else, Courtney was afraid she might end up hurting the young queen. She hoped that there truly was a chance she could come to reciprocate Alaska's affections and perhaps the relationship could grow into something beautiful for all three of them...but right now? It seemed a bit of stretch.

The best she could do was give it an honest effort and pray everything would work out...that she could be part of an amazing relationship with someone she knew she genuinely cared for and someone she hoped she'd come to care for in the same manner.

Their first date was actually quite ordinary and uneventful; a simple movie and walk around town until they decided to call it a night. Courtney almost felt cheated in a way at how simple it all was. Shouldn't it have been more memorable? More passionate? More anything?

It felt no different than any other date she'd been on...At the very least she expected Willam to make a move, even if it wasn't going to go any further than a short lip-lock. But all she got was a kiss on the cheek as the pair said goodnight and disappeared into their own room. Perhaps he and Alaska were waiting for her to make a move? Or maybe until she had developed feelings for Alaska?

She knew she was over-analyzing the situation and should have just talked with them but she kept her concerns to herself. This was still a delicate subject...she didn't want to mess anything up...for herself or for them. As much as she knew she wanted Willam and would certainly go as far as he'd be willing, even including Alaska if he'd ask, the fact that neither of them were pressuring her for more left her somewhat confused. Wasn't that how it was supposed to happen? They'd fall into bed and there'd be one moment after everything is said and done that she'd realize that she cares about Alaska just as much as Willam? Or was that too Hollywood; too cliche and unrealistic?

There certainly was an inkling of something.

If nothing else, she loved seeing the younger queen enjoying herself on their date...Maybe that should be enough for now. Just seeing her and Willam happy as they all fumbled around trying to figure this out.

The next few dates had gone much like the first; fun, run-of-the-mill activities. No different than any other she had experienced in the past. They had gone to the beach, spent the day hiking, ate dinner at a fancy restaurant before deciding as they left that even Chipotle might have a better choice for their meal. They hadn't told anyone else why they were going out to all of these different places together, though Courtney rather suspected that one or two others might have guessed the reason already. She wasn't bothered by it but still there was a nagging in the back of her mind; 'shouldn't _something_ more have happened by now?'

But they were content to leave everything chaste and modest...though she wondered if they had done anything else after their bedroom door was shut. She doubted it but the question lurked in the corners of her mind...She truly was at the point were she just wanted to do _anything_ with them no matter how small.

The day that they finally took that step had actually been very mundane. The three were spending most of the afternoon in the house just having a movie marathon of whatever that caught their attention on Netflix. Some of the movies weren't horrible but others were dull and uninteresting. Even Alaska who was usually pretty good at at least paying attention to the plot was starting to drift off. Currently they were curled up on the couch, Willam in the middle, and the youngest queen leaning heavily against his side as her eyes lazily followed the movement on the screen. Her arm was draped across his stomach and if she happened to brush her fingers against Courtney's side, the Aussie didn't seem to mind. The temptation of maybe trying to hold the young queen's hand flashed through her mind but she couldn't bring herself to make that move. There was a small irrational fear that the instant she would touch the brunette, that would somehow taint what they were trying to build. So for now she just kept her distance and only allowed her own hand to rest against Willam's leg; an action he seemed perfectly content with.

About an hour or so into the latest movie, Willam's phone began to ring. Shifting his weight around, fully disturbing Alaska in the process, he withdrew the cell from his pocket and glanced at the name on the screen. Rolling his eyes just a little, he muttered, "Sorry, have to take this..." and pushed himself very reluctantly off the couch.

Alaska was less than pleased to lose her pillow and tried to keep him in place, earning a fond smile from the older queen.

"It shouldn't take too long, I'll be back soon," he promised before accepting the call. With a noticeable change in tone, he answered the person on the other end, "Hey, what's up?...I thought we were waiting until next Friday..."

A few utterances of confirmation and soon he had disappeared towards the other end of the house to continue the conversation in private. Courtney heard an unhappy noise emanating from the other end of the couch and found the young queen with a hint of a pout on her pumped lips. Feeling her own curl up in amusement, she called out to the displaced queen desperately trying to make herself comfortable again by leaning on the arm of the sofa. As soon as Alaska had turned her head towards the Aussie, Courtney found herself motioning for the brunette to scoot closer.

"Come here," she teased lightly.

A gleeful grin greeted her as Alaska swiftly crossed the empty space on the couch and claimed her new pillow before she had a chance to change her mind. An affectionate smile rested on Courtney's lips as the brunette made herself comfortable by curling her body into the older blonde's. Just as Alaska was beginning to settle down with her head resting on Courtney's shoulder, the blonde dared to press a soft kiss to the young queen's forehead. Alaska turned her head up slightly to find Courtney almost as surprised by her own actions as Alaska had been. Part of her worried that she might have just crossed a line even though she's seen Willam doing the same thing more than a handful of times.

Her fears were soon alleviated as the brunette gave her an overwhelmingly bright smile. There was a hint of nervousness and embarrassment in Courtney's voice as she asked, "What?"

"That's the first time you've done that," Alaska replied warmly.

Courtney shrugged her shoulders as best she could as though it weren't a big deal but she could feel the heat rising to her face and neck. Wholly unconvinced, Alaska pushed herself up a little and laid a gentle kiss of her own just below Courtney's jawline. If the Aussie wasn't red in the cheeks before, she certainly was now but she wasn't complaining. Not when her chest felt warm and light for the first time in such a long while.

Before she had a chance to second-guess herself, she leant down slightly and placed a light kiss the the tip of Alaska's nose. The younger queen squirmed in place, her nose twitching just slightly as a fit of short giggles ran through her. Again Courtney found her heart fluttering at the sight of Alaska so happy. She loved seeing that smile almost as much as she loved Willam's. With little conscious thought, her fingers made their way beneath Alaska's chin and tilted her face up to look at the blonde's. There was a little tint of pink spreading across her cheeks as Courtney brushed their lips together for a brief moment.

The kiss was short, only a second or so long but it gave Courtney time to realize that there just might be something more to how she feels about Alaska than she initially thought. There was no burning passion in the kiss, not like there had been with Willam, but there was something about it that made her heart race in her chest as though it were trying to escape. Her stomach was beginning to fill with butterflies but everything about the kiss simply just felt right, almost natural, and she discovered very quickly that she wanted to do it again.

Perhaps noticing the change in Courtney's demeanor or maybe just giving in to her own long suppressed desire; Alaska closed the gap between their lips very soon after Courtney had pulled away the first time. Again, this wasn't an all-consuming kiss filled with a sudden burning lust for one another. It simply was a way to explore this new territory together, to test the waters one inch at a time.

Alaska readjusted herself to be able to place her hand on Courtney's neck as the other carefully guided her shoulder to the cushions of the couch. When she repositioned her body over Courtney's it wasn't with the intent to go any further, it was merely a way for both of them to be comfortable as they continued the lazy lip-lock. Her thumb traced over the sensitive skin of Courtney's jaw and neck, leaving the older queen trembling as it brushed over a particularly sensitive spot. Though Alaska hated herself a little for her lack of restraint; her lips left Courtney's to immediately lay claim to that area.

The Aussie's hands were clutching at her shirt as Alaska kissed and grazed her teeth ever so slightly across the heated skin. Despite her best efforts not to, Courtney couldn't stop the little mewls clawing their way from her throat as Alaska continued to work the spot. Her pace was languid, more to tease Courtney than anything but if that were to change, to go any deeper, Courtney felt like she might just give in without a word of objection.

But Alaska made no move to push things further. After just a minute or two of giving into temptation, Alaska forced herself to return to Courtney's unoccupied lips. This time things felt a little more heated. Both queens were quickly becoming breathless and even Courtney found herself pulling Alaska's compliant body as close as she could manage. If things kept up she had no clue how far she might go but thankfully she didn't have to make that choice.

Highly amused, Willam commented on the scene he had just walked in, "Do you two need to take this back to the bedroom?"

Both queens flushed at the question and separated themselves once again. As Willam settled into the now empty space between them, Alaska wrapped herself around him in an almost mirror image of how she'd been before. The only difference was that now Courtney had enclosed her hand around the young queen's with the knowledge that tonight she'd be the one to take the next step in their relationship.

********

When she made her proposal that night, anxiety was already working its magic as her stomach flipped and twisted but she knew the timing was finally right for them. Eagerly the pair led her to their room yet once inside the atmosphere had rapidly shifted. Each of the queens was nervous for their own reason. Alaska wondered if it was still too soon for them to be crossing this line, Courtney worried about what it would be like to finally sleep with Willam after having waited so long, and finally Willam himself was concerned with what might happen after everything was done. He hid his emotions better than the others but all of the questions raced through his mind just much as it did for Courtney and Alaska.

When he and Courtney fell into bed for the first time it almost seemed like they had done this several times over. Their bodies moved in synchrony against one another as though it were the most natural thing in the world for them. Willam was loud, Courtney softer as she held back most of what she wanted to say. Praise and compliments rested on the tip of tongue as she pushed Willam to the edge but only a few words ever spilled from her lips. Too much of it felt too personal, too private to share right now. In the future she wouldn't hold any of it back; she'd tell him every thought that ran through her mind but for now, only a few of those sentiments felt safe enough to share.

She marked his skin where everyone could see and in a few other places were only she and Alaska would be able to find. She would have liked to take things slower and other nights they would but for their first time they succumbed to their passion for one another. They were just trying to make the other person understand just how much they had wanted each other and letting those emotions spill out in any way possible.

When Courtney was with Alaska, it felt like another experience entirely. All of the young queen's attention was directed towards her. She took her time with Courtney, teasing her, tasting her, just exploring her body as much as she could. The blonde had been reduced to a hot mess long before Alaska even got the condom on. Her pace was slow and sensual, drawing out the pleasure for Courtney alone. Every action was filled with the hope that Courtney would understand just how much Alaska cared about her and how she prayed her feelings would come to be reciprocated.

And the message was quickly received. Although Courtney still could not honestly say that she was attracted to Alaska in the same capacity, she realized that one day she could and probably would be. It was still too soon for such strong emotions to be forged but she knew that at some point in future, perhaps not even too distant, it _would_ be there. She realized that her attachment would never be the same as what she felt for Willam and that was the way it was _supposed_ to be. They were not the same person so why should she have expected the same kind of attraction for both of them? She needed to see Alaska just as she was and let the relationship develop from there. It already was in fact.

Seeing the care the young queen took with her, the disconcern for her own enjoyment in favor of Courtney's; it was touching. Now more than ever Courtney wanted to return that sentiment and the following night she would. She would reduce the younger queen to putty in her hands, repay her for every minute of pleasure Courtney had received before, show her that some day her feelings would be returned. It was a silent message but well understood.

When all three had finished, they laid in bed curled up against one another as closely as they could manage. Legs were tangled with each other, hair and sheets a mess, and of course everyone was far too exhausted to even think of leaving to clean up at that moment but all were content to just lay in their overheated embrace for a few minutes more. They should have talked about what it all had meant but that could easily wait until the next day; they all knew where their relationship was heading and it truly was the start of something beautiful for all three of them.


End file.
